Recovering Perfectionist


I'm Satoya.

I'm a recovering perfectionist.

I'm the kind of person that wants things to be the most perfect. Because, obviously, most perfect is more perfect than perfect.

Does any of this resonate with you?

The more I live with myself, the more I realize that if I continue to wait for things to be the most perfect version of what it can be, the less I actually finish and release. The truth is, living in perfectionism is all a lie. Perfectionism is a mirage. Perfect does not exist. 

Last month, I heard a talk at an amazing women's conference where my fabulous friend said something that was so simple yet so profound. To be honest, I became a little recluse after she shared because what she said fell on me like a ton of bricks.

She said something to this effect: "When God created the heavens, the earth, the animals, people- basically everything that he created in those seven days, He said it was good, not perfect."

Yeah, I know.

What does it even look like to release perfection?
Is it as simple as letting things roll off your back?

I'm not so sure that it is. I'm not a fan of "just letting things roll off your back" because I believe that intentionality is very important. I typically to take more of an active role in change, when possible.

The process of intentionality that I am working through is:

  1. Practicing presence.
    I need to be present in what I'm feeling to be able to discover why the thing I'm doing isn't good enough in that moment. 
  2. Digging deeper.
     Is there something that I'm insecure about? Are there external factors that are contributing to what I'm feeling and my discontentment? Am I playing the comparison game? Is there something else that I'm discontent with that I'm projecting into this situation?
  3. Finding a safe space.
    Taking a moment to meditate, pray, and re-center myself is a huge safe space for me. Sometimes, a safe space can be a safe person that I can share with because they know me and care about me and my heart. Another safe space can be journaling.

None of these things are going to be perfect but having a system in place as a grounding point is a great place to start. So, when I feel myself slipping into the perfectionistic abyss, I can feel my tether, my lifeline- keep me from going too far.

Are you a recovering perfectionist?
How do you keep yourself grounded in the reality that nothing is actually perfect?