New Year, Same You
Firstly, Happy New Year!
It isn't too late to say that, right? Dah, well.
Secondly, I've been on a mental health break to reconnect with myself and my family after the holidays. This time of the year is pretty hectic for us so I've been taking much of this first quarter of the year to regroup, restructure my goals, and create healthier boundaries for myself.
So, I'm here with an encouragement for you for 2018.
Between December 31, 2017 and January 1, 2018, not much has changed in the same way that not much has changed between yesterday and today. As a culture, we seem to care a lot more about what the new year represents. It represents a sense of newness, possibiites, and dreams. For me personally, I like to use the energy of this time of the year to evaluate my life to see if I've lived according the values that I believe, if I've spent my time well, and write down my measurable goals for the following year.
I actually added a new practice this year of self-forgiveness, which was very liberating.
Anyway, since theres a particular energy of newness around this time of the year, there is this idea that there is going to be a new and improved better version of yourself in the subsequent year.
Spoiler alert: There isn't.
We are all deeply affected by our experiences and the things that we've learned. Our experiences have a way of changing us. And this is amazing news.
You don't need to go into another year with the shame of who you've been or that you aren't the ultimate, ultra-polished, superhuman version of yourself.
I had a moment with myself last year where I fully understood the value of loving myself and my body into health rather than a place of self-deprication and self-loathing. I realized that my body is the same body, whether it is fit or whether it isn't. Even if I were ripped to shreds with my abs having abs, it's the same exact body as my post-baby c-section scarred body. My body tells a story. It tells a story of something that has experienced brokenness. It bares the scars of the miracle of life. It has the experience on feeling wounded, berated, and unappreciated. It has shared love, hugs, and (many) bottles of wine with loved ones.
I don't want a "New Year, New Me." I want my memories and my experiences. I want to keep them because it's part of who I am and who I have yet to become. I can't say that I am grateful for some of them but I am grateful that the outcomes have been things that has caused me to be better.
Though it may be tempting and though society will tell you differently, keep you. Don't toss yourself away for some homogenized version of yourself. Your failures help inform your victories. Your shortcomings teach grace. Your quirks and your differences are your superpowers.
Don't let nobody tell you different.